Casino One Liners

Jokes are always fun, but when you have an affinity for gambling, the casino jokes are always a bit funnier. I have gone ahead and put a few casino jokes together and I hope that you enjoy them. Because laughter is what we all need after a tough day at work.

The Jokes

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. I completely misunderstood the crap table.

I know a guy at the casino who will not gamble. He just watches the games and makes mental bets. Last week, he lost his mind.

In Vegas, they will let you bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I would win or lose there.

I walked around the casino with a pocket full of chips. I am still trying to get the smell of vinegar out of my trousers.

What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? I can not deal with you anymore.

What is the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it!

How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say f*ck? Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell BINGO!

How is a casino like a woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

Stick around to the Online Casinos 007 website for more in interesting games and funny casino jokes that are sure to split your sides.